warmth
dasha and i went to starbucks and while we were in line she pointed out this kid who was the boyfriend of corinna, who was this girl i obsessed over and i don't even remember why. there was this crazy lady that kept knocking people over in line asking if anyone drove an altima DOES ANYONE DRIVE AN ALTIMA and finally i fessed up to the crime and went outside to turn off my headlights.
dasha got a caramel frappuccino though it was goddamn freezing outside. i got a pumpkin spice latte, which makes me sad already because i don't know how i'll be able to cope with anything once they take that off the menu.
this girl who simply calls herself "die dyke die" messaged me on myspace a couple of nights ago, talking about "how to be an indie kid" and i immediately thought she was attacking me so i sent her four long-winded messages about how i was all coked up now and how she should leave me alone. i think i made some lesbian/le tigre jokes because i thought she was just like grace in the way that she was into all these chic electroclash bands and attire, but jesus christ is she not like her at all. which is a good thing, because i haven't even thought about grace for a while, and i think it's sort of funny that she's getting married or something soon. anyway, the point of this paragraph was to show the reader that the only reason i struck out at her was because she reminded me of grace, which reminded me of my past, and though i sometimes lie and act like i'm okay with the past, i do everything in my power to avoid it. and jesus christ did this girl know.
she (i don't even know her name) kept saying how i was her soulmate and that i was lagging behind, that my lack of myspace friends appalled her and that i wasn't all that fit to be writing a guide (on how to..). looking back on it, that is the exact fucking thing my soulmate would say to me, to get me on the right path, and i'm pretty much convinced that even though she messaged me just two days ago, she knows me better than anyone ever could. she read inbetween the lines and knew when to make me laugh. what a sweet kid. i should go visit her down in so cal sometime, she seems pretty lonely down there.
SO
last night i saw jackie and courtney and marielle and i was so goddamn drunk i really didn't understand the situation. i railed a line with becky and felt great for a while, telling the girls how much i missed them and everything that needed to be let out. goddamn social anxiety. but i woke up feeling okay, and i think i should be truthful to myself and just accept things for how they are. i'm starting to. i like drugs (she said the drugs like you), but i should probably find a way to limit myself in the future. it isn't real life, but it is, and supposedly my dream is to unite the two worlds, every two worlds that are separated by TRAUMA AND CHEMICAL IMBALANCE, to find that fucking balance that could put every heart at easee
it's a good feeling to know that i have no obligations to anything anymore. i can finally go to philly and get some cheesesteaks
today sounds good
dasha got a caramel frappuccino though it was goddamn freezing outside. i got a pumpkin spice latte, which makes me sad already because i don't know how i'll be able to cope with anything once they take that off the menu.
this girl who simply calls herself "die dyke die" messaged me on myspace a couple of nights ago, talking about "how to be an indie kid" and i immediately thought she was attacking me so i sent her four long-winded messages about how i was all coked up now and how she should leave me alone. i think i made some lesbian/le tigre jokes because i thought she was just like grace in the way that she was into all these chic electroclash bands and attire, but jesus christ is she not like her at all. which is a good thing, because i haven't even thought about grace for a while, and i think it's sort of funny that she's getting married or something soon. anyway, the point of this paragraph was to show the reader that the only reason i struck out at her was because she reminded me of grace, which reminded me of my past, and though i sometimes lie and act like i'm okay with the past, i do everything in my power to avoid it. and jesus christ did this girl know.
she (i don't even know her name) kept saying how i was her soulmate and that i was lagging behind, that my lack of myspace friends appalled her and that i wasn't all that fit to be writing a guide (on how to..). looking back on it, that is the exact fucking thing my soulmate would say to me, to get me on the right path, and i'm pretty much convinced that even though she messaged me just two days ago, she knows me better than anyone ever could. she read inbetween the lines and knew when to make me laugh. what a sweet kid. i should go visit her down in so cal sometime, she seems pretty lonely down there.
SO
last night i saw jackie and courtney and marielle and i was so goddamn drunk i really didn't understand the situation. i railed a line with becky and felt great for a while, telling the girls how much i missed them and everything that needed to be let out. goddamn social anxiety. but i woke up feeling okay, and i think i should be truthful to myself and just accept things for how they are. i'm starting to. i like drugs (she said the drugs like you), but i should probably find a way to limit myself in the future. it isn't real life, but it is, and supposedly my dream is to unite the two worlds, every two worlds that are separated by TRAUMA AND CHEMICAL IMBALANCE, to find that fucking balance that could put every heart at easee
it's a good feeling to know that i have no obligations to anything anymore. i can finally go to philly and get some cheesesteaks
today sounds good
posted by Gumby at 10:27 AM
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