talking dirty with my new wife

jane came home, slammed the door and threw her purse against the wall. she ripped off her clothes and came at me with ferocity. i gulped down the corn pops that were already in my throat and followed her as she took my hand and led me to the bedroom. after a scary intense pre-sex ritual (who the hell was this monster), she drove her tongue into my ear and emphatically said, "talk dirty to me baby!"

we started going at it and i started to laugh because i've known jane for six years now and never in that time has she been as sexually suggestive as today. so i tried to make her happy, but this was my sweet jane, my high school sweetheart, how could i make love to her while calling her a filthy cumbucket?

"j-jane you're a c-c-cunt"
"YES YES I AM VERN OH VERNON I AM YOUR FILTHY CUNT"
"um, yes.. yes, yeah ooh um, ooh"

my guardian angel would tell me later that that night i had the most bewildered look he had ever seen. i believed him